2020: A new decade where dreams become reality?

Happy New Year! Another year… another opportunity to try to make this crazy dream come true.

I did something unusual at the start of the New Year. Around midnight, I was feeling horrible and had a random thought to just do something crazy while listening to a song I loved. So… that’s exactly what I did and it felt great. I do admit that I was quite intoxicated at the time. I don’t think I would have done what I did sober. I haven’t told anyone the exact details but it was a silly moment in time. Time continues to slip from me. I have to make sacrifices and do things I normally wouldn’t do to live out this dream I have with color.  I was thinking about that while I was out on New Years. You know… it’s so easy for things to go wrong. I’m losing time and I feel it every day now. This dream has been a colossal failure and I need to figure out a solid method that can really help me. There’s just so much I want to accomplish on a personal and professional level.

I know this website looks like a hobby and I’m not really proficient at this particular hobby. I haven’t achieved any amount of success but I still believe in color. I’ve had really awesome moments on this journey and wish I could live this life 24/7. I have these crazy visuals in my head that I love to explore and for the longest time I thought writing about it was the way to go but after I figured out how to add motion to my designs, everything truly clicked for me. I knew it would be possible to create a different color perspective on reality. Instead of making still art, I can make abstract art that’s in motion and reacting to reality in a way. Everything changed for me personally after I made Ambler Drive. I made similar videos before that one but seeing how everything came together in that film opened my eyes. I want to do more… I know I can and I know it’s possible now. I have to figure out a way to make this dream come true.

So… Today I took a step in the dream direction. I purchased equipment to make a new driving film. For Ambler drive, I used my phone to film everything. This time, I will be using three cameras (including my phone) to get additional camera angles while driving. I have a good idea on how I want the video to look and I think having three cameras would be great to execute the vision. This film will feature me driving in an area with lots of curves. It’s a nice scenic route. I have no idea which colors to use but I want lots of abstract patterns moving around. I think the hardest part will be finding a song for this film. I’ve had so many issues with songs in the past and it’s always the most challenging part if I already don’t have a song in mind before making a new design. I’m very nervous about making this film but it must be done and I can’t wait to get started. I have to wait for a nice weekend weather or take a day off. Winter is here and it could be a few days, maybe a week or two.

I have to say even with the ideas I have for this upcoming year, I’m not too optimistic about being successful. 2019 was a nightmare. Nothing hasn’t really changed personally since the last post.  The only positive was going to Annapolis but I can’t say it was on the same level as Cape May or Hartford. Anything can happen at any moment to change everything for the better or mostly likely the worse. I really don’t want to get to the point where I begin to hate what I do here. I feel like I’m close to that point and I literally have to think about something else immediately or I begin to lose it. I’m going to try my best to become a dream by at the end of this year. I have at least 4 short films I would like to make and hopefully a travel series or two. Dreaming Big…

2020 is going to be awesome! Well… I hope so.

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