Darkness Wants To Win….

Everything feels like a mess with this website and my artwork. I’ve had a couple of stores, podcasts, art groups, websites, and etc… I need to be more organized and focus on concrete goals and objectives. I know exactly what I want to do. I want to master one area of marketing. What I did with my other website was track everything I did to build the website. I tried to be very organized and was strict finishing tasks in todoist. There’s a lot of things I’m doing besides designing. I’m about to set up my commercial and build an email list. It’s a lot of work. I want to focus all my efforts on a solid step by step plan. I want to reach Paris. I know if I can get there it will make my life complete. I can start moving forward and beyond. Expand my dreams. Live the dream. Beyond Paris… That would feel like magic to me right now. To be in that dream and moving forward beyond what I can imagine at this moment.

I have a lot of doubt. In fact, I’ve been feeling horrible lately. Everything is moving so fast. A lot of stuff is happening outside of this website and I don’t have much time to process it all. There have been big setbacks. I know in my heart I have to keep going with this. I can’t stop now. I’ve tasted that dream. I can’t go back now. Now that’s what I think is truly crazy.

Every day I realize that I have to block it all out. The doubts that plague me. People who don’t believe in me. I want to build something incredible. Even if I’m the only one who believes. If no one buys my work, I will keep going. If no one joins my list, I will keep going. If I have to keep working at horrible jobs until I become the dream then that’s the way it is. If I die and never reach Paris then it would break my heart but I have to try to make it happen. I am the only one who can make it happen. I wish this journey was easier. I know there’s a darkness growing inside me. Today, I realized there’s a huge possibility that I’m just a delusional person. There are many people living great lives. Why can’t I be one of those people? Why do I have to continue struggling and barely getting by every day? If I can keep fighting for this dream then maybe one day I’ll become the dream.

I have to become a stronger person. Somehow…

So… I’m going to shake things up a bit with my shop. I want to have all over print t-shirts. Society 6 has this option but I don’t have control over pricing when it comes t-shirts. Zazzle has this option but I don’t like the style of the shirt. I love Zazzle but I think it’s time for me to go in another direction. I found a company that’s able to print and ship my designs. The best part is that they can print my designs on shirts, dresses, skirts and much more! I can create a fashion line for every album I create. It’s a cool concept but it’s going to take a lot of work. What I’m going to do is set up WooCommerce on this website. I’ve always been fascinated with fashion. It’s a beautiful expression of someone’s love for color. I want everything to connect back to this website. I will keep my Zazzle shop open but won’t add any more products on there. I think this idea can definitely work. I will start implementing this idea this week.

I’m going to change things with my Hartford Album. Making more speed art videos is not a good plan. What I want to do for upcoming albums is create 10 speed art videos and the rest would be video footage. I can’t do that for this album because I thought of this idea after my trip from Hartford. For this album, I will be using mostly scripts. There won’t be much video footage. I won’t create any more speed art videos for this album. I am behind almost two months. I have to continue my travels. I think the scripts I created are good enough for the album. I will try my best to finish this album by next Saturday. I will work on it every day. I won’t advertise the album until I find another job. Not much rest but I can rest while traveling to next city for my travel series.

I will keep moving forward. Now is not the time to do anything else but move forward.

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