I spent at least 7 hours working on the last design. As the end of it, I wasn’t happy with the design. I love the colors but I’m going to abandon the design for now. I may go back to work on it but it’s just a mess. I am a mess. I’m running seriously behind schedule in creating this album. So… I’m going to postpone the album release date. I have to concentrate on finding another job. It’s the main priority right now. The timing is all wrong but that’s life. I don’t have enough money to advertise the album anyway. I thought I would have enough money but so many things are going wrong. I am very upset. I am having a very hard time right now. I’m not abandoning this album. Once I find another job, I will be able to resume creating the album. I can’t focus on a meaningless pursuit when I have to worry about paying the rent. It’s shocking, to say the least, that so many things are going wrong. I was so optimistic at the beginning and now I’m basically back to square one.
I don’t think it’s possible to be happy in this reality. Well… I did have a magical moment and now it feels like I’m paying for it. Honestly, I rather not continue my journey if there’s going to be devastating consequences. I spent so much time on this and it all means nothing. It means something to me but that doesn’t mean anything. The struggle is real and this website is just a dream. I have no clue when I’ll be able to come back. I’m not good with job interviews.
I can keep writing but I won’t. I’ve been simply distraught for the last couple of days. There’s more going on that I am not mentioning. Somehow, I’ll get back on track but I don’t know anymore. I’m losing my grasp on reality. I can’t believe this is happening.